just feeling really down

i found myself in the garage last night at about 10 or so; fixing some things.  in years past, she would have been there to help me – i found myself feeling such despair; and loneliness; and sadness.  alone.  unwanted.  all of this just……..really hurts.  it is so painful; i feel so beat up, and low.  i really hope i can just work my way through all this.